February 14, 2007

Norah Jones Rouses us Long Enough to Tell Sob Story About Having to Lose Weight For a Movie Role, Then Her Narcoleptic Music Puts us Back Into a Deep, Dreamless Sleep

Filed under: Norah Jones

(WENN)

Snorah Jones is back on the scene. And because she has a new album to hawk, she needs to do the things that singers gotta do to hook people into buying their album - confessional interviews. Seeing as Snorah is about as exciting as my toenail, she doesn't have much dirt to let us in on. She was asked to lose weight for a movie role. Oh. Ok. Interesting.

Norah Jones didn't think she needed to lose weight - until she was "asked to lose a few pounds" for a movie role, the singer says in a new interview.

"I probably shouldn't say this," Jones tells the March British edition of Glamour. "But I was asked to lose a few pounds. First I got really mad, then I got nervous, thinking, 'Oh no! I'm fat!"

The 27-year-old singer, whose film My Blueberry Nights costars Jude Law and Natalie Portman, says: "It was a horrible thing to hear but I understand the game. I was just amazed that it really was an issue, and it made me have a lot more sympathy for really skinny actresses."

You're not fat, Norah. Hollywood just needs bone thin bitches to keep everyone invested in unattainable standards of beauty to sell products. It's ok. What's not ok is that you don't have any sympathy for ME when I walk into a Starbucks and hear your funeral dirges playing and feel like I just swallowed a bottle of Klonopin. GET SOME PERCUSSION!