From the Thrillist!

Absinthe-Distribution

Order at absinthvertrieb.de

Despite its face-melting potency, American-bought absinthe lacks the very ingredient that sets this hallucinogenic hooch apart from mere licorice'd grain alcohol. Get your wormwood on with Absinthe-Distribution.

Though authentic absinthe's illegal to import, A-D nonetheless offers a whole range of the stuff that inspired Toulouse-Lautrec's celebrated art and Van Gogh's celebrated earlessness. The German e-tailer ships only primo European Green Fairies (including Jade Absinthe Edouard, Jade PF 1901, and Duplais Vertge), all of which come highly recommended by experts, the site's own commenters, and shrill hippos dancing up your leg. Since possessing/drinking the stuff is legal, A-D circumvents the importation ban by slapping on the innocuous label "glass bottles" — giving their imports a huge leg up on other contraband whose primary means of transportation is butts.

To assuage your suspicions, A-D won't complete the sale until delivery, so you won't get stuck with the bill for some customs officers' wild last day on the job. Once in your hands, the notion of drinking such a questionable booze may still seem insane, but was Van Gogh crazy? A jury of 12 unicorns encased in salt says "no".

Order Jade Absinthe Edouard for $30 plus shipping ($32.50 for priority, $71.50 for 3-day courier) at absinthvertrieb.de