The intrepid hunter is stuck mounting the heads of boring quarry like moose, wild boar, and elephants. As a pretend hunter, you have no such limitations — so grab yourself a phantasmagoric trophy from Custom Creature Taxidermy.

Artist/licensed taxidermist Sarina Brewer cobbles together carcasses to build ersatz "animals" that would make Mother Nature hide in a locked bathroom. The Frankenstein monsters she births range from deceptively normal-looking to hauntingly freaky, like two-headed squirrels, fanged rats, horned cats, and winged kittens. Should her stock of pre-made beasts fail to suit your manor's motif, you can put your own imagineering skills to the test by commissioning bespoke creations — thereby ensuring the beige of your ferret's tusks coordinates perfectly with your parlor's fur hammock.

Whether you go stock or custom, you can make your prize a wall-hanging trophy, desktop adornment, or liquor decanter: horned sparrows will hide a dainty tipple, though there's no classier beverage to serve fellow non-hunters than keg beer tapped from a four-armed gorilla.

Order a freakishly fantastical stuffed "animal" at CustomCreatureTaxidermy.com