V-Day Dating Site Guide

Valentine's is a month away, but forced romance takes time to blossom, so now's the time to lock something down. These niche dating sites should help broaden your options:

Differently Healthy: STDFriends.com
You're not alone after all: over 23,000 people have posted their pictures alongside detailed descriptions of what's on their privates. The danger is, you'll hit it off, share everything, only to have her say, "I really think we should just be friends with STDs."
Bring your profos to STDFriends.com

Sunburnt on One Arm: TruckerPassions.com
When a hellcat/woman-with-a-plan like MidniteMagic42 boasts "I get enough exercise pushing my luck" and "Someday, I will have a working show-truck", you know what you have to do: run like the wind to the nearest rest area, pine-tree air-freshener bouquet in hand.
Check out the mud flaps at TruckerPassions.com

Metabolically Challenged: LargeFriends.com
Whether you're a "plus size single", or just an "admirer", Large has the pushable cushion you're looking for. Endless pages of success stories curiously avoid the issue of size, even while the accompanying pictures do not.
Eat your heart out at LargeFriends.com

High: PotPartner.com
These 420-friendly gals are low-stress, laugh at everything you say, and also see the hidden message behind BASEketball. And since you're both too lazy to break up, you'll probably e-date long enough to arrange a V-Day rendezvous — unless you both forget your passwords.
Spark up some romance at PotPartner.com

Grindingly Depressed: PoorMatch.com
PM's for users who "fancy…experiencing a unique cocktail of hope and despair". Just fill out the "I am a..." query (e.g., "cityboy", "bongoloid", "gaylord"); the only option under "Seeking" is "wretched throwaway sex". So you're getting laid.
Find someone to hate at PoorMatch.com